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ARE BALD MEN MORE HIGHLY EVOLVED?

I offered this question several weeks ago in one of my posts, recalling that when I was a boy I wondered why, if evolution were true, did humans lose all their ape-like fir, then start lighting fires and putting on clothes?

(Abstractreacle: “Drops”)

Recently on TV I saw a priest of the great Darwin suggesting that pre-humans lost their hair because it was unattractive to those who wanted a mate, so that by “natural selection” humans had all their hair bred out of them over many thousands of years. The hairier specimens just couldn’t pull the girls, and I suppose that shivering in the cold and wearing smelly animal skin was much more sexy.

So does this answer my childhood question on the validity of human evolution? Hardly. You see, from my experience, while it’s clear that facial hair is not as fashionable as it was a few decades ago, most women just don’t dig balding men-they find baldness a turn off. And apparently the “other” primates still find hairy bodies a turn on-they aren’t losing their hair.

If this theory is true, we really should be elevating bald men to higher positions, since they are more highly evolved and therefore more intelligent. We should have a bald president and some bald politicians-perhaps they would do a better job than the hairy ones.  What a tricky theory evolution is, and I mean to say that word “tricky” as an extension of the word “trick”.

Did Charlie have a hard time finding a mate? He was bald, but he had a hairy face….

THINGS THAT STICK TO CARS

I saw a car with a sticker on the back saying “Caution-baby on board”.  So I’m supposed to think, “Oh, all right then, I won’t smash into that car, I’ll smash into another one instead…And why is it that as soon as you’ve washed your windshield, you’re heading down the road and a large bug splats itself right in your line of sight? Murphy’s Law is unquestionably true.

When you see a car go flying by you at around twenty over the speed limit, weaving in and out of the traffic, and it has one of those little fish on the back, you have to wonder if the car is stolen, or if the owners love fishing as a sport. Surely they aren’t trying to be the first Christians to break the land-speed record? Surely, Christians are more concerned about keeping the laws of the land, aren’t they?

My favorite sticker, which I’ve only seen on trucks, reads:

“It’s not a choice-it’s a baby”.

GET BACK

People, even those claiming to be enlightened and intelligent, are able to believe the silliest things. My sister, an atheist, told me that people get back-aches because humans haven’t been walking upright for long since we left the trees, so our bodies aren’t yet fully adjusted. Try telling that one to your boss next time you want the day off. And if it were true, it would mean that those who don’t get back-aches are more highly evolved. So, our next president should be bald and upright, with no history of back pain.

If my sister is right, I wonder how the first upright ape-man fared when he decided to stand:

“Ohhhh my Darwin! This is excruciating! Still, I’m determined to do it…I’m going to walk upright for the rest of my life if it kills me!”

man-in-a-gorilla-mask

HOLY ENDORSEMENT BATMAN!

It’s amazing what we humans will justify when we want something. According to a commercial on a Christian radio station I sometimes listen to, “Gold and silver are endorsed by God and mentioned in the Bible over 800 times”.

I can see that it’s wise to be prepared for any eventuality, and to be on top of our finances if we’re able, and I know that gold is not innately evil, but is it really “endorsed by God”? Proponents of the collection of precious metals believe that they need to have something in store when things around them, like the economy, go wrong. It sounds like the God of the Bible is advising everyone to put at least some trust in worldly wealth, when in fact he said, via Solomon the wise:

“Whoever trusts in riches will fall” (Proverbs 11:28).

Job, a man who God considered the most righteous of his time, said:

“If I have put my trust in gold, or said to pure gold, ‘You are my security’…then these also would be sins to be judged, for I would have been unfaithful to God on high” (Job 31:24-28).

There’s another clear warning not to trust in metal when the going gets tough, even in the very last of days:

“Neither their silver not their gold will be able to save them on the day of the Lord’s wrath” (Zephaniah 1:18).

And as though continuing this thought, James in the New Testament has a warning for the rich:

“Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days” (James 5:3).

Interestingly, the disciples of Jesus either had no care for gold, or just couldn’t  get any, because Peter said:

“Silver or gold I do not have…” (Acts 3:6).

Of course, most people who have plenty of money don’t consider themselves to be rich. This is probably at least part of the reason why Jesus said:

“…it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God” (Matthew 14).

Since God is the judge, and not us, isn’t it a little foolish to risk being wrong?

Paul warned:

“Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires…for the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil” (1 Timothy 6:5-10).